


prayers won't save you (but we'll clear your conscience for a night)

by celebreultimaverba



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Blasphemy, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Hair-pulling, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of graphic violence, Religious Dirty Talk, Revenant Vax, Rope Bondage, Sexual Roleplay, technically dubcon bc pike is not as into it as she usually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-16 16:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18097673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celebreultimaverba/pseuds/celebreultimaverba
Summary: Vax comes to Pike after Elysium, asking her about Sarenrae. About what he may have once had.“You do so much, so I’ll only ask you for one thing. You are going to worship me, and you are going to do it by feeling. As loudly or as quietly as you want, you are going to take what I give you like taking your first breath. Treat this worship, take what I give you like you’re being given a new life,” She instructs.She’s paraphrasing temple sermon. It’s almost certainly blasphemy.





	prayers won't save you (but we'll clear your conscience for a night)

**Author's Note:**

> Just so no one is confused/yells at me for forgetting to capitalize: I differentiate between "Sarenrae" and Pike in this fic. Pike uses she/her pronouns, and "Sarenrae" uses capitalized She/Her.

He’s so _quiet._

Like, Pike is pretty perceptive, right? She’s maybe not as good as the half-elves or anything, but she doesn’t miss too much. She didn’t use to miss Vax this much.

But now, now he’s so _quiet._ No breathing, barely even a heartbeat to give him away.

“Hi, Pickle,” he says, and she jumps a little, her armor plating clanging a bit, and they both freeze, too used to listening to danger, now. Pike wishes that she could resent the way that she slid back into her old danger sense, even after a year of peace, with the most stress being running a _bakery._ Instead, she has to be happy that she’s still… _got_ it. The sense, the moves, the spells. Things have been kinda shit, the last few days, but it would have been worse if any of them forgot how to fight the way they used to.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” he says, the smile on his face saying otherwise.

“You scared me, Vax. You’re so quiet,” she accuses, but she smiles, too, and he takes it as the invitation it is, closing her door behind him and taking the few steps to close the distance between them. He immediately goes to his knees, height folding into resting on his heels next to her bed. “What do you need?”

“Who says I need anything?” he asks, but the way he leans into her hand when she buries it into his combed-out hair says otherwise. “I wanted to check in on you.”

“Mhm,” Pike says. “Is Keyleth asleep?”

“Not yet, I don’t think.” He doesn’t get onto the bed when Pike tugs on his hair, gentle and wondering. “I’ll go to bed with her.”

Pike is almost disappointed. She doubts Vax is very warm, his heartbeat is much too slow now to have any sort of circulation, but her bed will still feel cold without him in it. “Okay,” she murmurs. Keyleth probably needs his company more than she does.

“If that’s okay.”

“I think I’ll live,” Pike says, tugging on his hair again. This time, he moves. Not off of his knees, but she finally gets him to sit back, leaning against the side of her bed. She marvels at the ease of it, how she can do this with a few touches. He’s always been so responsive. Quiet, yes, but he speaks volumes when she asks.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and she gives him a second to relax, petting his hair. There’s still tenseness in his shoulders, but she’s gotten used to that. They have a job to do, now. He has only a little more time to live. She’s never, ever going to get back the bonelessness of a truly happy, truly relaxed Vax’ildan like she had just a few weeks ago when they were at the beach.

 _He is going to die with this,_ she thinks to herself, hand stroking down his scalp to his neck, where she can feel the muscles in his shoulders still ready to jump up and grab at the daggers in his belt. She knows that she can’t fix it, but she has spell slots and she’s gonna be sleeping soon anyway, so she murmurs something quiet in Celestial and gives him a healing spell. She feels it take root in him, feels the power leave her, and feels nothing about his tenseness change. If anything, he stiffens.

“What was that for?”

“I don’t know,” Pike replies. She’s _tired,_ damn it. “I thought you could use it.”

“I’m not hurt.”

“But you’re not fine,” she retorts, bringing her hand away from him.

He’s quiet. She regrets the tone, and brings her hand back to comb through his hair. He doesn’t relax into it, this time.

But she doubts he’ll be relaxing fully for the rest of their time together. Pike doesn’t know how to do that for him.

“I’m sorry,” she tells him.

“You don’t have to be,” Vax says, turning around, still on his knees, so he’s facing her. He leans forward, so his arms are braced against her legs on the bed. “Am I that obvious?”

“You’re not very good at hiding.”

“I’m the stealthiest motherfucker on the team,” he retorts. He genuinely sounds a little offended.

Pike snorts. “That’s not what I mean. You’re pretty— you’re easy to read, I meant.”

Vax shrugs, his smile turning bitter.

“Are you okay?”

He shrugs again. “I have to be, don’t I?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I don’t— I feel fine. It’s just… I wish everything was different.”

Pike separates a lock of his hair from the rest of his head. “Different how?”

“Well. We— You just saw Sarenrae, face to face. And, I mean, you know how I was thinking about… converting, I guess. Way back when. It was… a little hard, to see everything I wanted but not be a part of it. I mean, I couldn’t even get closer to that damn tower.”

Pike hums, starting to braid the hair. “I’m sorry,” she decides.

“It’s okay. It woulda fucked me up even if I wasn’t—” he holds up his arm and its pale, cold skin, “whatever I am now.”

“Still, I’m sorry. I know it was hard.”

He rests his cheek against her knee. “’S not your fault. And,” he lifts his head up again, to give her a grin. “It was pretty cool, wasn’t it? For you to see her in person?”

Pike grins right back at him. _“So_ cool,” she agrees.

“How’d it feel?”

Pike thinks, trying to decide on a way to describe it. “It felt like… seeing her felt like being filled to the brim with light. It was _amazing._ She was so beautiful. You know?”

He gives her a half-cocked grin. “Yeah. I know.”

Pike hopes she’s not blushing. She feels like it’s a useless thing to hope for. “What?”

“Hm?”

“You’re smiling.”

“I’m not allowed to smile?” His smile grows, almost in defiance. She loves it.

“You’re allowed to smile. But you’re _smiling.”_

“I thought about you.”

Pike blinks. “When?”

“You were the reason I wanted Sarenrae so bad, when I wanted her. I wanted you. When I wanted to get closer to that tower, I told Keyleth to focus on how it felt to be around you. I understand feeling like light. I’ve been around you. You feel like faith, Pickle.”

She’s _definitely_ blushing. She flicks his nose with the end of the small braid she made, then combs it out. Her hand lingers, brushing his hair behind his ear. “What do you want now?”

Vax shrugs. “Lots of things. A distraction? I guess?”

“What do you _want?”_ Pike asks again.

His face falters. “I want her.” He shuffles a little bit. Even that’s silent. “I wanted her,” he corrects.

“She would have had you,” Pike says. There’s a blessing, set deep within her chest, that knows she can say this. “She would have had you, if you had asked. Wherever you were. Whatever you were then, whoever you were trying to be, she would have had you.”

She regrets the words as soon as she says them, because she can see the wound they make clearer than she could have seen a physical one. Vax is good at hiding those. He’s terrible at hiding this.

“I didn’t wanna ask. Too late now,” he murmurs.

“Then what do you want, Vax? Why’d you come to me? You could be spending the night with Keyleth. We could both be sleeping. We could use that.”

He winces. “A distraction, I told you.” When Pike doesn’t respond, he finally looks up at her. “I want _you.”_

She gives him a smile. “That’s all I needed to hear. Come here, Vax.”

She doesn’t need to elaborate, because he pushes himself up to his knees, and presses a kiss to her lips. She sighs into it, and he brings a hand up, stroking his hand through her hair. She kisses right back, because there isn’t much else she wants to do right now. She’s kind of hoping that Vax lets the two of them stay like this for a while. She knows, nights like this, what he wants the end result to be, but she can’t help but wonder if this is the last time he comes to her at night, and she’d rather kiss him than… whatever else he decides he needs.

She has no such luck. He opens his mouth for her and she takes over, sucking on his bottom lip and taking it where he wants it to go. Eventually, his fingers go up to start undoing the buckles on her armor, and she lets him do so, standing for him when he needs her to. He undresses her the rest of the way, too, and she kisses him again, once she’s naked.

“Will you take off your clothes for me, Vax?” she asks.

“Yeah,” he says, and she notes his fingers are clumsy as he starts divulging himself of his belt. It’s flattering. “Sorry if I smell like death.”

His armor used to smell like lavender, Pike reflects. She replies, “It’s alright. I don’t have a good nose anyway.”

“I disagree, you have an adorable nose,” he replies, giving her a smile.

She laughs, and watches him start to take off the armor. “Do you need help?”

“No thanks. It’s just a lot of buttons,” he replies.

Pike waits patiently, and pokes at a bruise that she can’t remember getting. It must have been after the battle, because it would have healed otherwise. Ioun’s library, perhaps? Maybe she caught the edge of a book.

Vax finishes getting his armor off, and Pike reaches out to help him. He lets her take his shirt off, and then when she kneels herself to unlace his pants, he stops her hands. “I don’t— my heartbeat is so slow, I don’t know if I’ll, like, be able to get it up.”

Pike pauses, then keeps unlacing them. “There’s other ways to get someone off,” she tells him. “Don’t worry.”

Vax nods. “Okay. Just warning you. It’s not an insult.”

“I won’t take it as one. Stand up?”

He does, and drops trou, and sure enough, he’s soft. Normally he’d be hard by now, but, this isn’t normal. She touches him, cupping his cock in her hand, and strokes it, soft enough so her calluses don’t chafe him. “Does it still feel good?”

He nods.

“Then we can still have fun. Do you wanna be kneeling, or do you want to be on the bed?”

He has to think about that for a second. Pike lets him, drawing her fingertips over one of his hips, trying to get used to the temperature of his skin. She’s not really able, but she’s still feeling sunlight under her skin from Elysium. Maybe anyone would feel cold to her.

“I’ll kneel,” Vax decides, and Pike steps back, gesturing to him that the floor is open.

He goes to his knees, graceful like Pike never is when she’s praying. She wonders if the Raven Queen appreciates Vax going to his knees for her half as much as Pike does.

Probably not. Pike wants him more than most.

He’s about her height, when he’s down, so she kisses him, again slow. He relaxes into it, about halfway, and Pike resigns herself to this halfway. Even she can’t get Vax all the way back to himself. Which kind of sucks, because Vax was always _so fucking gorgeous,_ when he was relaxed and boneless and nothing was trying to kill them.

She would have fucked him nicer last time, if she’d known it was a _last time._

Vax hums. Pike snaps her attention back to kissing him, and he laughs.

“Will you stay with me?” he asks.

 _You won’t,_ Pike thinks, but replies, “Sorry. Yeah. Got distracted.”

“I’d assumed,” Vax says, and Pike thinks _how can you be smiling like this,_ and kisses the smile away.

She feels bad for it, but only for a second or two. He doesn’t seem to mind it, pressing forward a little. To apologize, she runs her fingers up his chest, draws her thumb over his nipple until his breathing changes the way she wants it to.

So fucking quiet. But she knows how to fuck him anyway.

She fists her free hand in his hair, and tugs it back. It’s rough, like he likes, and his head snaps back for her to get her mouth on his neck.

The bruises she leaves with her mouth are slow-blooming and will be gone the next time he heals. She leaves them anyway.

After the second, he grasps at her wrist. She pulls away, eyes on him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly, then ducks his head. “I just— I have a… weird request.”

“Tell me, Vax. I know Scanlan, I can handle weird.”

The joke makes him laugh, and Pike smiles. That was exactly the point of making it. He sobers up, though, and keeps not looking at her. “Can you—” She waits for him to start again. When he does, it’s with profound embarrassment. “Can you talk to me like Sarenrae talks to you?”

He does surprise her, with that. She blinks, a little bit, and considers what that would entail. “You want me to— do you still want sex?”

Vax’s face only seems to not be burning because he doesn’t have circulation to do so. “Yes. Just. Maybe… be nicer? Than I normally like? I want to imagine like— like maybe I’m good enough.”

“You’ve always been good enough, Vax,” Pike says, automatically, though it’s a little distracted. “Do you want to just… pretend I’m her? Considering, you know, I’m her champion and everything now. I don’t mind if you want to pretend.”

“You’d do that?”

 _I’d do anything,_ she doesn’t say. “Do you want to? Like you took the chance when you wanted it.”

There’s that old wound again, raw and bloody. This time, they both wince. But this time, neither shy away. “Please,” he says.

Quiet. Almost whispered. Always so fucking quiet.

“Okay,” Pike says. She takes a shaky breath. Gives her true goddess a wordless prayer, a thought of mixed apology and gratitude, and tries to slip into character.

“Vax’ildan,” She says. It seems more formal. Makes the whole thing easier. Pike won’t slip in. “You’re kneeling. Why?”

Vax is clearly at a loss. He wasn’t expecting Her to start, for Her to speak like that. “I— I just.” He bows his head. “My Light. I wished to come to you. Humble myself before you, and— ask for forgiveness. Acceptance. Absolution, if you’ll grant it.”

Pike raises Her fingers to his chin to tilt his face up towards Her. “Vax,” She murmurs. “Look at you. You do belong on your knees, don’t you?”

He swallows, and the motion brings Her eyes down to the column of his throat. “For you, my Light, yes.”

Pike has never heard Sarenrae’s words to her be anything but kind, anything but easy and complimentary and so full of love that Pike almost burst with it, today. Still, she’s also known Vax long enough to know what he likes, and she knows how to balance the knife’s edge of kind and cruel.

“You’re such a gorgeous thing,” She tells him, sinking a hand into his hair again. “You’re so handsome, Vax’ildan. So fitting of the light inside you.”

His eyebrows draw together at Her words, and She presses a kiss to the furrow of that skin. “Don’t argue, my—” Pike falters, at this word. She isn’t sure the Raven Queen would be happy with it. But the Raven Queen isn’t here, and if she minds, she will have to take Vax away from Pike to do anything about it. “Don’t argue, my champion. You’re a bright thing.”

He takes a second to allow Her words to sink into his skin, and he shudders a little bit, and She pets his hair through it. He bows his head, and She tugs his head back up. “Don’t look away,” She orders. “I love seeing you, Vax. Don’t be ashamed of that.”

“You’re kind,” he tells Her, murmured. _Quiet,_ again, damn it. Pike wants to take his hand in her hands and slap him for it. Then she wants to kiss him, rile him up until he’s finally _loud._

“It’s what you deserve, my champion. You’ve earned my kindness,” She replies, then talks over his drawn-together eyebrows again. “And I hope you will continue to earn it.”

He nods, eager to please Her, at the very least, so Pike tugs at his hair to get him to lean closer, and asks, “Will you kiss me, my champion?”

He nods again, and presses closer with the enthusiasm that Pike is used to, whenever she takes him to bed. Vax kisses Her like it’ll get him to Elysium, and although Pike isn’t the one who makes those decisions or has that power, she’s pretty tempted to give him whatever he wants when he kisses her like this. She kisses him right back, fingers combing through his dark hair, and lets the both of them relax into it, slow.

He’s breathing a little heavier, when She pulls away. She kisses him again for it, because he doesn’t even need to breathe and yet he still is, and he mirrors Her smile with his own. “Well done,” She praises, thumb passing over one of his cheekbones so Pike can appreciate the way he’s smiling. Oh, she’ll miss this one.

“I’m glad you think so,” he tells Her, a little smug about it.

“Is this how you usually worship?”

“Would you like it to be?”

Pike waves off the initial instinct of calling him difficult. He’d never get away with this if it were her. Lucky for him, though, he doesn’t want Pike. She gives him a smile, instead. “I asked you a question, my champion. Answer it.”

He ducks his head, and She watches his eyes, bright as ever, rake over Her nakedness. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and She aches a little with it. It’s been a few weeks, and Pike is just as horny as the rest of them after a good bit of fighting.

“I think I’d like it to be,” he tells Her.

She laughs, quiet, loving. “How much do you know of worship, my Vax’ildan?”

He shuffles his knees a bit forward. “I could show you, my Light.”

Pike gives him a smile. “Then should I get up on the bed for you?”

“It’ll be a pity not to be able to kiss you,” Vax says, “but I think you’ll enjoy my form of worship.”

“I can only hope,” She replies, grinning and moving back so she can push herself up onto the bed. She doesn’t bother going too far back, knowing exactly where he probably wants to be getting. She beckons him forward with a finger, and he ducks his head, moving forward to get between Her parted knees.

She puts a hand in his hair—for the upteenth time, she knows, but it’s silky, still, and feels exactly like it did when he was alive. He looks up at Her, and She tugs him up for one last kiss. She’s just a bit too tall when sitting on the bed, so he has to push himself a bit to reach Her. She bites his lip to get a quick, quiet moan, then pushes him back to where he belongs. It’s a little too rough for Sarenrae, but he doesn’t say anything about it, and she’s not about to apologize for it, so he presses a kiss to Her inner thigh, She spreads her legs a little further for him, and gives him a sharp-inhaled breath when he licks over Her cunt.

He licks Her like he kissed Her, like a man looking for absolution, like a man who’s willing to drown in Her.

Pike leans back on her elbows, tilts her head back, hooks her knees over Vax’s shoulders, and moans loud enough that she hopes the real Sarenrae hears her. Vax hums against Her cunt, and Pike wishes she could grip his hair, pull him closer, make him eat her until his jaw aches, until her thighs are shaking with overexertion and until he’s trying to pull away because he’s fucking exhausted. If this was anything else, Pike would tug him up to her mouth and make him kiss her, hook her tired legs around his hips and have him fuck her. She’d keep a hand in his hair so he couldn’t pull away and she’d use her own hand and his cock stretching her to get off at least once more, and he’d start to beg to come, and she’d tell him no, no, no, and he finally _would_ because he couldn’t stop himself any longer, and _then_ they’d have some fun.

But that’s not what they’re doing tonight.

Instead, She moans “Vax,” and rocks Her hips against his talented tongue, and he earns himself salvation in the form of Her shuddering out an orgasm, hands fisting in the sheets that Scanlan is always so careful to make soft for her.

She pushes Herself back up to a sitting position and he looks up at Her, mouth slick and smiling. She doesn’t smile back.

His smile drops. “Was that okay?”

She wants to tell him no. Gods, she was never gonna be okay. She wants to kick him, maybe, or slap him, wants to do their _normal,_ doesn’t want to be nice to him because that’s _not what he asks_ Pike _for,_ ever. She wants to do _worse_ than her normal. She wants to hurt him, because he’ll come back, because he’s a dead man walking, because they’re _all_ dead on their feet, because she’s fucking _angry_ that he’s being taken from her and she wants to hurt _something_ instead of healing, for once, and he’ll come back over and over. He’ll probably fucking _like_ it, and he wouldn’t stop her, and she could spit on him or call him names or hurt him, and he’ll forgive her for it even if she goes _way_ too far.

Instead of answering his question, She says, “Vax’ildan, my champion, you’re wonderful. Thank you—”

“You’re disappointed.” With the tone of his voice more dead than he is, Pike doesn’t think she’s ever hated that she’s not Sarenrae more. She _is_ disappointed, but he’s not meant to know that. It’s not his fault.

“Never,” She says, quickly. “I’m wondering.”

“Wondering?”

“Is this the only way you worship?”

“I don’t understand,” he says, ducking his head, like that’s something to be ashamed of. His shoulders are tense once more, because she’s ruined it. Damn it, Pike. “It’s… the most straightforward.”

He says it like a question. He’s floundering. She takes his face in Her hands and he relaxes immediately, thank the gods. “You know, my Vax’ildan,” She says, conversational, hoping he relaxes further. “Anything can be worship if you do it with the correct intent.”

He doesn’t reply, still trying to figure out what She wants. “You’ve done wonderfully, my champion. But worship can involve _you_ feeling good, as well. Any kind of joy, Vax’ildan, any time you’re truly, deeply happy, when you just feel _good_ — that’s worship. Do you understand?”

“I don’t know.”

It feels important to tell him, so She does, rubbing Her thumbs over his cheekbones. “Worship isn’t always sacrifice, my Vax’ildan. It’s not always striving for forgiveness or redemption. Sometimes it’s just being.”

He can’t look away from Her, and She’s not sure if he wants to. “Then what do you want from me, my Light?”

“I can have you, over and over again. I would have you come to me, come for me, as many times as you wished. My Vax, I’ll undress your soul before myself and have you on your back to take me like a sacrament. Or I’ll bend you like a reed, have you on your knees, however you wished it. But I will have you. If you ask.”

He pulls away from Her hands just so he can look away. She lets him go.

“Well, some of that might not be possible,” he tells Her, after a second, looking up and gesturing down at his cock. He’s still soft.

“I’m not surprised, don’t worry,” Pike says. She reaches out, touches him, and casts Greater Restoration. It’s helped before.

“I think the heartbeat’s the issue, nothing else,” he tells her.

“It was worth a shot. It doesn’t really matter,” she replies, giving him a shrug and then a smile.

“Just a little more complicated to worship.”

“Complicated doesn’t mean bad,” she tells him. “You wanna get up here now?”

Vax considers it, and nods, Pike leaning a bit to the side so he can clamber up beside her. He presses a quick kiss to her neck as he passes, and she laughs, curling around to kiss him properly.

When they pull away from each other, he’s smiling a little easier. “How are you feeling about—” She waves her hand.

“It’s good. It’s— it’s a lot, but it’s good. Just— calling me good. It’s good.”

“Sorry I didn’t— you _did_ do well. I didn’t tell you. You didn’t disappoint me.”

“It’s okay.”

“I won’t do it again. You know you’re good.”

“It’s _okay,_ Pike.”

Vax takes her chin in her hand and tilts her head up to look at him. She leans forward, bumps their foreheads together, and murmurs, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Vax replies.

He shouldn’t be the one comforting her. She knows that, but she still moves forward to hug him, burying her face in his neck for just a second. He hugs her tight, tight, for a few seconds, before she pulls away and gives him another smile. She’s _not_ going to cry.

“Alright, alright,” she laughs. “I’m okay. I promise. You need to get off.”

“Sure, yeah, we’ll see how this works.” At ‘this’, Vax gestures to his dick.

“It’ll work,” Pike says, with some certainty. “You don’t need to be hard to get off.”

Vax cocks an eyebrow, but seems to accept it. “You’re the cleric.”

“I thought I was the goddess?”

“I mean— if you still want to be?”

Pike shrugs. “I don’t mind either way. I kinda liked it?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Everyone likes being perfect,” Pike replies.

Vax presses a kiss to her nose and tells her, “You’re already perfect, Pickle.”

She thinks about what she wants to do to him, wonders exactly how delicate his elven features would really make his bones, should she want to hurt him, and smiles. “Thank you, Vax. You don’t have to be nice, though, I’m already gonna be nice to you.”

Vax shrugs. “It’s a habit to get you to go easy on me.”

“What do you want to happen?”

“If you know how to make my dick work and you’re nice to me, I’ll be happy,” he tells her.

“I won’t make your dick work. I’m just gonna make you come,” Pike tells him. “Here, lean up against the headboard? Let me take care of you?”

“Taken care of by a goddess. I’m a lucky asshole, huh?” Vax jokes, moving as she’d requested.

“The luckiest asshole there is,” Pike agrees, moving to kiss him again.

She kisses him until he’s wrapping his arms around her, and then she pulls away. He makes a (quiet) noise of disappointment, and she gives him a smile. “If you’d like me to get you off, I’ll need a little help.”

“You, needing help?” Vax says, and Pike sticks her tongue out at him as she slides off the bed.

“Even clerics need it sometimes,” Pike mutters, deciding not to look at Vax as she says it in case he realizes that it actually annoys her. Instead, she opens up her dresser, and, sure enough, because it’s Scanlan’s mansion, she’s easily able to find oil and silk rope. She turns, holding both things up for Vax.

“Ooh. Yes, please,” he says, sitting back again against the headboard.

“I thought you might like it.” She gives him a smile, setting the oil on the bedside table and wrapping part of the rope around his wrists when he offers them.

Once his arms are bound to the headboard, he tests them with a few quick pulls, Pike double-checks to make sure they’re not too tight, and then kisses him. She doesn’t bother telling him to tell her if it gets to be too much—he knows what to say. When she pulls away, She tucks his hair behind one of his ears and moves to spread his legs for Her.

He’s been given a few minutes to calm down so She draws her hand over his chest, reverent. “Look at you,” She murmurs. _“This_ is worship, my Vax’ildan. Presenting yourself wholly for me.”

He nods, eyes sharp, watching Her. He was relaxed, with Pike. Now he’s tense, naked before Her with nothing to do. She loves him. She’s going to take him apart, and She’ll put the pieces back together like they never shattered, and fill in the cracks with gold.

“You do so much, so I’ll only ask you for one thing. You are going to worship me, and you are going to do it by feeling. As loudly or as quietly as you want, you are going to take what I give you like taking your first breath. Treat this worship, take what I give you like you’re being given a new life,” She instructs.

She’s paraphrasing temple sermon. It’s almost certainly blasphemy.

Vax squirms a little bit, the way he would if he were hard and it was starting to get uncomfortable. Pike kisses him, then moves to kiss at his neck.

She takes her time, wanting him to heed Her instructions and just _feel_ for Her. It seems like the best way to do that is burning slowness. Still, Pike is aware that he has to go to Keyleth soon, so She doesn’t spend hours and hours to make him beg for more than Her mouth on his neck, more than Her hands playing up and down his chest, brushing Her thumbs over his nipples until he’s squirming for more.

When he starts squirming, She moves, spreading his legs again so She can settle between them. She gets the oil, drips it over two of Her fingers, and meets his eyes as She bends down to press an open-mouthed kiss against his thigh.

He moans. It might be the loudest noise he’s made tonight.

She rewards him with sucking a mark into the skin, or at least the beginnings of one, and circles his hole with a slicked finger, waiting until his hips strain up for Her before working it inside. He’s not the type to react to that so easily, so She moves Her mouth to his cock, licking Her way up it. That gets Her a quiet noise and a jerk of his hips as She curls Her finger inside him, which is pretty much exactly what She was expecting from him.

He’s soft, but at this point his skin has warmed, and so it’s not too much of an issue for Her to take him into Her mouth, and at that he moans again. Pike sucking him off used to be a reward, because as much as she likes it he’s still much bigger than her. She tends to avoid getting her jaw tired unless he’s been _very_ good for her.

He’s not trying to be good, tonight, though, and She doesn’t want him to, so She lets him buck his hips a little bit into Her mouth as She kitten-licks the underside of his cock, and then She gets another finger inside him and curls them, stroking the spot inside him that always makes him melt just a little.

He does it this time, relaxing into the stimulation easier than Pike thought he would. Maybe it’s Her influence, because he’s quiet but still telling Her everything with the way his hips rock into Her. She lets him take his pleasure, lets him worship the way he wishes. They get into a quick rhythm, because Vax isn’t used to being allowed this, and Pike is pretty sure she’s trained him to come as quickly as possible when she lets him take, just in case she decides to take it away.

She does, about half the time.

But She doesn’t take it away, just lets him take, sucking softly on the length in Her mouth and curling Her fingers when his hips drop from Her mouth as they thrust into it. He reacts _beautifully,_ quiet but giving Her wonderful little “ah” noises on the offbeat of his thrusting.

Pike is pretty glad that he’s soft, actually, because it would a bit more difficult if he wasn’t. It still seems to be working for him, though, and she lets her free hand rub circles into the skin of his inner thigh.

“Pi— My Light, I think…” Vax says, still almost a whisper, and Pike’s heart breaks.

She takes Her hand off his thigh and pulls off his cock, wrapping Her hand around him so She can kiss him as he gets close. He makes a noise probably from gratitude, and though She’s short and he has to bend his back a bit for Her to stay in between his legs and kiss him all the same, he’s still flexible as ever.

He comes over her hand, moaning someone else’s name against her mouth, and he feels almost warm and almost alive when he does.

She lets him calm and pulls back smiling.

“Thank you, my Light,” he murmurs, and She kisses him again.

Considering that Pike was the one who just fucked him, she shouldn’t care so much that he’s calling her Light or Sarenrae rather than Pike or Pickle, or even that soft smile he has for her or his gentle fingers doing up her hair in buns.

“Thank _you,_ my champion,” she murmurs back, because this was never about Pike.

She takes a few seconds avoiding his eyes by untying the rope, and he rolls his wrists after, checking the circulation. “Still no blood in them,” he reports.

Pike snorts. “Good, I guess?”

He stretches, and pulls her onto his lap so he can hug her. “Thank you, Pickle.”

“Do you feel better?” she asks, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his chest. _Ba-bump._

“I don’t know,” he says.

“But you don’t feel worse?”

“Nah. Never do, around you.”

Pike waits.

_Ba-bump._

“Let me clean you up.”

He doesn’t move too much when she pulls away, which is nice. He seems a little more relaxed—not all the way, of course, but Pike was never going to do that. She finds something soft in her attached bathroom and wipes the cooling cum off his stomach, wipes the oil off her fingers.

“Is that holy oil?” he asks.

Pike looks over at him, and giggles. “No. No, it’s not. Even if I’d anointed it, technically as soon as it was inside you it’d be unholy again.”

“Pity. That would have been some good blasphemy.” He pauses. “Think they’ll be mad at us?”

“I assume you mean the Raven Queen and Sarenrae?” Pike thinks, feels within herself for that daylight. She finds it. “No. Though, disappointed, probably.”

Vax laughs, and leans forward to kiss her forehead. “That’s good. I’m gonna head out. Love you, Pickle.”

“I love you too,” she says, and he leaves like he entered, quietly, sneaking out.

He doesn’t look back.

Pike takes a shaky breath, and turns to her Sarenrae shrine.

She grits her teeth, and doesn’t pray that night.


End file.
